What’s better? Is bigger better? Is smaller better? Or is better better?

What the hell are we even talking about? Honestly, at this point, I don’t even know. A lot of the conversations I’ve had over the past month have been with myself. I usually know what I’m talking about and am very impressed with the soundness and general brilliance of my arguments. And then I realize, I’m actually full of it and probably need to find a way to social distance from myself.

Or, what I actually need is live music. It’s the best cure for cabin fever and the madness caused by lockdown. I’m not in a hurry (I’m kind of in a hurry), but I do look forward to when we can all go out and have a drink and see a show. However, this won’t actually be fun unless we know that the performers and the crowd are safe. The alternative is to rush, pretend like everything is fine, get drunk, go see a band, and then go get tested for Covid-19 instead of good old-fashioned chlamydia.

I’d prefer intimate to intubated.

Let’s be patient and vigilant, realize that we have to erase our definition of normal. There are things that we want. We can protest and say our freedoms are being taken away or realize that what we want is third on the list of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The first is life. Getting what you want is a pursuit, not a guarantee. So, stop whining about wanting a haircut. Try cultivating a 1980s brat pack look. I’m shooting for 1986 Rob Lowe, or ’88 Emilio Estevez, but will probably have to settle for any decade Judd Nelson.

So, live music. A perfect night always involves a show. My first concert was David Lee Roth and Poison at the Mecca in 1988. It was awful…and amazing. I don’t want to give Diamond Dave too much credit, but it was this show that opened my eyes to music in a way that records, cassettes, and Mtv hadn’t. Music is an experience, it’s not just auditory, but also visual, there’s vibration that can be felt on the skin, sound that can be tasted and smelled. As I grew older, the arena shows of the 80’s turned into 90’s punk shows in the basement of the Oakland House, the narrow run of the Globe, or the sweaty and amazing confines of Quarters or The Cactus Club.

All these locations were amazing for what they were, but, for a long time, the only shows in Milwaukee were either the small and local at clubs and basements or else the big names at the big spaces. The in-between indie bands often skipped us altogether, there just wasn’t the right place to play. Living in Seattle, I found these types of venues all over the city, nearly every neighborhood has a music space. There are options from club to arena all over the city. Every band and artist touring the country stops in Seattle. It was amazing, but I also reflected on how awesome it would have been to have seen some of these shows in Milwaukee.

Now I’m back and there’s so much that’s changed. I’ve become a tourist in my hometown – an unusual, but exciting position. First things first, I had to see a show. It’d been over ten years since I’d seen live music in Milwaukee. The best shows are in the smaller rooms where fans and artists share the space, so I’d decided on Stef Chura when she played The Back Room @ Colectivo last August. The show had been advertised on 88nine Radio Milwaukee (an amazing evolution of sound waves that found its groove while I was gone, but more on that another time). I went online for tickets and found out the Back Room was part of the Pabst Theater group. Their lineup had entertainment for everyone and a much greater depth of music than I’d remembered from the Milwaukee of my past.

Don’t get me wrong, Milwaukee’s always had one of the best music scenes. There’s so much talent in this city and between our festivals and the bars and clubs that have always been here, we have the space for any act. Having a group of venues working together to accommodate local and national acts is exciting and gives smaller and mid-size acts the opportunity for a higher profile and better representation for their night in our city.

I don’t know what I was expecting. I remember getting coffee at Colectivo (actually it was Alterra the last time I’d been in the building). Maybe this was just going to be a small coffee shop space with a band in the corner that latte sippers were casually paying attention to while writing their novels. It wasn’t. There was super friendly, but thorough security, an efficient ticket table, and a small area for bands to sell their merch. This was a concert venue, not a coffee shop with live music. I went to the bar got a Riverwest Stein (not coffee) and looked around. It’s nice. Not fancy, but definitely not gross like other places where I’ve walked through a river of piss going to and from the bathroom. The Cream City brick makes it distinctly Milwaukee, there’s a skylight that lets the city in, it’s open enough so that even at capacity you don’t feel crowded, and, when I did use the can, there was no pee on the floor.

No pee on the floor may seem like a pretty low bar to set, but as I get older, I’m finding it more and more refreshing to see a show in a place that is equally respected by both the concert goers and the people that run the place. And respect is what The Back Room emanates. It’s simple and cool, not overstated, not trying to be anything that its not, it’s just a great place for the artists and the fans to be close and enjoy one another. It’s perfect and intimate. I’ve had the opportunity to go back four more times. The last at the end of February to see We Were Promised Jetpacks, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen because of the atmosphere and intimacy created by The Back Room @ Colectivo. A month later there were no more live concerts.

Now more than ever, we really want, feel like we need, that perfect and intimate experience that The Back Room provides. But, we can wait. When the time comes, the music venues, big and small, will need our support. Concerts will be a tough thing to negotiate. The list of postponed and canceled shows is discouraging, but necessary. We still have music and we have opportunities to support our favorite artists and concert spaces through virtual performances. Live music, where we can get a little too drunk and a little too loud, will return.

And when it does, please don’t pee on the floor.

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